"...that
beam was 15 times more powerful which means |
this
isn't just a game. There's something going on. |
Here's
the latest update from the Big Brother house..." |
PLOTLINE
If
Autons, Gelth and Slitheen weren't enough for both Earth and the Doctor to deal
with, he has to cope with the ultimate invasion of Earth.
How
will Rose be able to help him, and her own planet?
EPISODE TWELVE REVIEW Spoilers
ahead
When
the trailer for this episode aired the previous week, my heart sank into my boots
and for several seconds I lost the will to live: the Doctor in BIG
BROTHER. The
spirit of JNT was probably looking down, grinning as he bellowed "That's
the way to do it, Russell! Now go all the way and wheel out Ken Dodd!" In
short, my expectations were rock bottom: it occurred to me that the new series
was perhaps due an equivalent to THE HORNS OF NIMON sooner or later.
As Saturday
neared, I thought this would be Clunker City. The episode aired: and my worse
fears were confirmed in several respects as the story could be read as a celebration
of crud TV. The Doctor put it best: "You've got to be kidding" But
the cliffhanger really saved it for me. Ah yes...
Still, as a shameless fanboy,
I also picked up elements that reminded me of Hartnell and Troughton at their
best (namely, THE CELESTIAL TOYMAKER and THE
MIND ROBBER) with the
TARDIS crew thrust into a strange environment for no immediately apparent reason
but it later becomes clear that they are the subjects of an evil game. The more
obvious connection with the shows history is perhaps VENGEANCE
ON VAROS (broadcasting executions as entertainment). But this is an
exercise that does the new show an injustice because the 21st century incarnation
has an unprecedented sophistication.
This story is set 100 years after
the events in THE LONG GAME and
in the same location (the broadcast satellite where we last saw Simon Pegg and
his ceiling-hugging alien blob boss go splat), which by happy coincidence means
that the sets can be re-used, of course. Yes, I'm that cynical. But the story
told on these old sets crept up on me and held me fast. Rose turns up on the
new lethal version of the THE WEAKEST LINK (nice to see Paterson
Joseph as Rodrick, the guy has real presence and deserves better than this briefing
showing) as Jack wakes up on a magnificently kinky (or plain twisted: "Your
viewing figures just went up!") translation of the Trinny and Susannah make-over
show.
Davina McCall, Anne Robinson and
Trinny & Susannah all provide the voices for their android equivalents and
so whoopy-bloody-doo. What will American fans make of this? This approach is
very dangerous because, by including the actual symptoms of the crass disease
of modern subterranean-market television, it descends from satire to advertisement,
not contributing to the solution (working to raise the quality bar) and becoming
part of the problem (by in effect promoting its satirical targets).
But there
are so many human touches, clever character flourishes and witty moments in this
story that my irritation slowly thawed to a genial wince now and then. The sad
little question from BB housemate Lynda: "Am I popular?" Jack,
stark naked and at the mercy of the two android intent on dismembering him, reaching
behind him to produce a small laser pistol --- only where the hell was it concealed
("You don't want to know"). The Doctors obvious affection for Lynda
and her reciprocation of his feelings was a nice surprise. Rose spotting the
symbolic recurrence of Bad Wolf on her own (without direction from the Doctor).
The Doctor declaring " I never paid for my [TV] licence"; again, I
wondered what American fans would make of that. Jack's parting quip after blasting
the T&S droids, "The pleasure was all mine. Which is the only thing
that matters in the end." The Doctor likes telly ("Bear with me").
Rose's apparent death was a genuine shocker to me (unlike most fans, I deliberately
avoid a lot of the press coverage and so was not sure whether Rose actually made
it to the end of the season!).
One plot twist in particular made
my laugh out out loud at the implicit conceit and I am not sure whether Russell
was being ironic. It turns out that the Doctors intervention 100 years ago caused
a cultural vacuum after he disabled the satellite station because society could
not go on with out its electronic mass media - oh really? Gosh, I had no idea
telly was that important. Again, this satirical touch can be read a number of
ways because the target is not clear.
The biggest revelation - that the
Daleks were behind the cultural decay of mankind with a view to turning the human
race into a new Dalek nation - was no surprise simply because I could not avoid
all the spoilers in the press. Damn it. OK, articles such as this review contribute
to the spoiler environment but in this case appear in a medium (a dedicated website)
which one would reasonably expect to be the focus of well-informed fans.
As finales
go, this episode features my all-time favourite (by a wide margin) cliffhanger
in the shows history. If I mapped my enthusiasm for this episode on a graph,
it would consist of horizontal line up until the last ten minutes or so at which
point the line would shoot up into the stratosphere! My heart jumped when we
rejoined Rose (and Billie Piper really is utterly adorable in the part) as she
wakes up on a Dalek mothership - the familiar, pulsing electronic throb in the
background - and we pull back to see Daleks ... all over the place! This is what
a Dalek crew should look like! Tears of joy prickled these tired old eyes: I
at least can say that I lived long enough to see the realization of a Dalek fleet
on screen!
The finest moment came when the Doctor,
faced with the news that the Daleks are going to invade the Earth, using Rose
as their hostage, and hopelessly outnumbered, nevertheless lays down the law:
DOCTOR WHO: I'm
going to rescue her .. I'm going to save the Earth ...I'm going to wipe every
stinking Dalek out the sky! Rose - I'm coming to get you.
This was Eccleston
at his best: with that speech, he owned the character. 4/5 - it would have been
3/5 but the cliffhanger made me tingle all over! No, really...
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